What Does The Bible Say About People Pleasing?

Many people struggle with people-pleasing behaviors. I, myself was for many years a people-pleaser. On some level, we all struggle with people pleasing at some point in our lives.

For some, people pleasing is so ingrained that they'll sacrifice their own needs or desires to obtain the approval of others. I've been guilty of this for so long. However less so once I came into my walk with God.

You don't have to spend too much time in the Gospels to realize that Jesus didn't have this problem. He loved people, but He wasn't overly worried about pleasing them. He didn't avoid confrontation. He didn't work hard to ensure others had the right impression of his behavior and motives. And he didn't surrender to authority figures to avoid friction.

Jesus was principled, His behaviors rose from His convictions. He didn't spend time fretting about rather people agreed with Him or even supported His goals. In fact, this behavior justified the Sanhedrin's plan to have Him killed.

Serving is a significant part of being a Jesus follower. For some personality types, it's easy to use service as a way to make people like and appreciate them. Jesus didn't do that. While He did humble Himself and serve others–often in a self-sacrificial way. He knew where His boundaries were.

There were times when Jesus would come into a town and heal everyone of their illnesses, yet sometimes He needed to get away and take care of Himself and spend time with His Father.

"Yet the news about him spread all the more so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sickness. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." -Luke 5:15-16

The fact that Jesus withdrew shows us that the demand was high, and people were always crowding around to receive. Jesus knew when he needed to separate Himself, which means there were probably people with expectations who were left disappointed but that didn't stop Jesus from doing what he knew he neeeded to do and taking care of himself for the greater good.

Being a people pleaser is an exhausting way to live. By putting other's demands and needs above yours and above the calling of God you will literally drain the life out of yourself. Sure it feels good to make other's happy but at what expense? When I finally reached a point in my life where I decided to make God my number one - I realized I could no longer carry this role. I had to learn to stand up for myself and God.

Learning to stand up for what I believed was right, not always saying "yes" to every invitation and demand from friends, and speaking my mind when I disagreed was tough, but once I started doing it I saw just how much more peaceful my life became.

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." -Galatians 1:10

At the end of the day, the only one we should seek approval from is God.